I call them aftershocks. You know when you think about your ex and everything comes flooding back. I just had one- after about 2 or so months of not thinking so much about her.
It’s that fucked up feeling when you think you’re never gonna love anyone or that you won’t be loved again. It’s paralysing isn’t it? Fear inducing. Horrifying. Most people would laugh at you for thinking it, perhaps even yourself in a year or two but in that particular moment it feels as real as anything. You’re pretty much rooted in this reality of thinking you’ll never love or be loved like you loved them.
The aftershocks for me, are like a coping mechanism that you need to force yourself to be present and in tune with life’s actualities. You end up understanding that with each painful aftershock, the feelings dull. It is just that little bit closer to an end and then eventually you don’t even factor that person or those memories into your life anymore. I guess you just move on.
You get to the point where this life now is the one that is important. You focus on where you want to go, how you can contribute and the kind of person you’d like to be. Slowly but surely, the world becomes colourful again.